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timelord1This is a fic for the who_contest "A New LIfe" - terrible title, but I hope you like the story.
Summary: Rose, traveling with the Doctor just after his regeneration, needs some convincing that he's still him. Later on, the tables turn.
"The Doctor and I came here," Rose said with a wistful sigh as she looked out the window at the rainy Veisxien skyline. "He brought me to this same café and bought me my first blue chai. Blue chai and this delicious little yellow cake with kind of crunchy frosting on it. It was my first taste of alien food, and I loved it."
The Doctor reached across the table for her hand but stopped short of taking it. "You let it sit on the plate until the tea started to get cold. You were scared to try it."
"Wouldn't you be? Never had anything from another world before. The Doctor told me the story of the first time he tried something from Earth so I wouldn't be so nervous." She kept staring out the window, avoiding looking at him.
"That was me," he said, running his hands through the newness of his hair. The waitress swung by their table and deposited two steaming mugs of blue chai at their table, along with a plate with four little yellow cakes on it. Rose looked at the food and glanced at the Doctor, but only for a fraction of a second; she refused to hold his gaze. The Doctor shifted in his seat, tugging at the leather jacket that was a bit too big for him. He wore it for her, so she felt as at home as she could, but it didn't seem to be helping. Maybe it was making it worse.
"I promise you, I'm the same man. Same mind; same memories. I sat here with you that first time and told you all about how my first taste of Earth food was a hot dog from a cart in front of the British Museum. I had no idea what I was ordering, and the man at the cart asked if I wanted it Chicago style and I said sure, because I didn't know what that meant but since I was already on an adventure I'd go all in. I've since learned it wasn't a proper Chicago dog, but it was glorious. The explosion of flavors in that first bite are still echoing on my taste buds," he said.
"That's what the Doctor said," Rose said, a hitch in her voice. "Almost word for word." She was fixed on that window, watching the raindrops like they were the most interesting things she had ever seen.
The Doctor said nothing for a while, joining her in silent contemplation of the raindrops. His chai went cold along with hers.
Several minutes later, he spoke again. "If you're uncomfortable, I will take you home."
"I don't want to be," she said. "I've been trying."
"I know you have. Just know you only have to say the word and it's back to London as fast as we can."
"That sounds like something he would say," she said, and the tears started again.
Instead of shouting at her, instead of grabbing her shoulders and giving her a shake and forcing her to look into his eyes and know he was the same, like he so desperately wanted to, he handed her a napkin and waited. When the crying got worse rather than better, he came and knelt on the floor in front of her chair. The other café patrons took note, some straining to listen for words of a marriage proposal, but the Doctor ignored them.
"Rose, please look at me," he whispered. "Just look. I'm not expecting you to find anything you like in this daft new face, but if you'll just try to see. I'm here. I haven't left you at all." He reached for her hand and took it this time, putting his other hand over the top of hers.
At last, just when he thought she wasn't going to, she looked into his eyes. She was chewing on her bottom lip as she searched through her tears, and the Doctor never moved.
You know me, Rose Tyler. I'm right here.
"Your eyes are brown now," she said. "Like mine."
He smiled a little. "That might have been admiration. You know what they say, about imitation and flattery and all that."
There was a flicker of a smile in return. He never had to tell her regeneration was as random as a lottery if it made her more comfortable to think otherwise.
"You've got freckles," she said.
"Have I?" he asked with a quirk of his eyebrows. He didn't have to tell her he'd spent quite some time scrutinizing the new face in mirrors at every angle until he knew it as well as his old one. "You know, once I had a really huge nose."
She smiled a little more. "You mean bigger than the last time?"
"Oh, if you thought that nose was big," he said, squeezing her hands, "should have seen the one from a couple decades ago. Could have parked a lorry in there."
She laughed, and he saw some of the tension leave her face at last. He was king of all he surveyed. He looked out the window at the rain as he spoke.
"You were wearing a fuzzy blue jumper with a zippered collar, and those jeans that you say are too long but you like them anyway because they are as comfy as pyjamas. Oh - and your white trainers with the broken lace. You spilled some chai on your right shoe and were worried the blue would stain, but I zapped it with the sonic screwdriver and tried to explain how I'd resonated the frequency of the chai on a molecular level but you told me to shut my mouth and accept your thanks and move on."
The hesitant smile blossomed into fullness. "I'm sorry," she sniffed, wiping her eyes with the napkin he'd given her. "It's just hard. I promise you won't have to keep reminding me."
"I'll tell you over and over again until you're certain," he said as he got to his feet. "Now eat your cakes and drink your chai and tell me again all about you and your mate Shireen and the time you slept over at her place and broke into her mum's liquor cabinet and drank all that Chambord until you threw it up and stained her bathroom rug."
"You remember everything," she said. She unwrapped a cake and handed it to him. He popped the whole thing into his mouth and smiled at her around the frosting.
I could remember everything, if I wanted to. But I horde memories of you like stolen gold. Outwardly, he gave a diffident shrug. "Comes with the territory when you're clever."
They passed the rest of their tea in companionable silence. She'd held his hand on the walk back to the TARDIS.
*******
The café was Norwegian this time, and the chai was beige. It was raining, as it should be, but this time the Doctor knew no tricks would convince her he was the same man. This time she looked right at him, knowing him and not knowing him at all. This time he felt the heartbreak of their estrangement with his single human heart, and he was helpless to overcome it.
"I'm sorry," he said. It was the first words he'd spoken since telling her he loved her.
"What for?" she asked, unwrapping a pale yellow cake and handing it to him.
"I'm sorry he left you," he said into his chai. So sorry you're stuck with me.
Rose reached across the table for his hand but stopped short of taking it. "You remember the café on Veisxie?"
"Which time?" it was his turn to avoid her gaze.
She leaned her head forward until she found his eyes. "You were wearing a soft gray t-shirt and your old leather jacket, your blue trousers and black trainers. It was early days after your regeneration, and I was so scared that you weren't you anymore. That was the day you convinced me that you would always be you, and you'd always be with me. I started to fall in love with you that day, you know."
He raised his head, smiling. "You did?"
"It had a lot to do with your freckles," she said, taking his hand.
"I still have those," he said.
She smiled back. "All in just the right place. I see you, Doctor. No matter what face, or body, or whatever changes. I love you, and I'll tell you over and over again until you're certain."
"Tell me again," he said.
Summary: Rose, traveling with the Doctor just after his regeneration, needs some convincing that he's still him. Later on, the tables turn.
"The Doctor and I came here," Rose said with a wistful sigh as she looked out the window at the rainy Veisxien skyline. "He brought me to this same café and bought me my first blue chai. Blue chai and this delicious little yellow cake with kind of crunchy frosting on it. It was my first taste of alien food, and I loved it."
The Doctor reached across the table for her hand but stopped short of taking it. "You let it sit on the plate until the tea started to get cold. You were scared to try it."
"Wouldn't you be? Never had anything from another world before. The Doctor told me the story of the first time he tried something from Earth so I wouldn't be so nervous." She kept staring out the window, avoiding looking at him.
"That was me," he said, running his hands through the newness of his hair. The waitress swung by their table and deposited two steaming mugs of blue chai at their table, along with a plate with four little yellow cakes on it. Rose looked at the food and glanced at the Doctor, but only for a fraction of a second; she refused to hold his gaze. The Doctor shifted in his seat, tugging at the leather jacket that was a bit too big for him. He wore it for her, so she felt as at home as she could, but it didn't seem to be helping. Maybe it was making it worse.
"I promise you, I'm the same man. Same mind; same memories. I sat here with you that first time and told you all about how my first taste of Earth food was a hot dog from a cart in front of the British Museum. I had no idea what I was ordering, and the man at the cart asked if I wanted it Chicago style and I said sure, because I didn't know what that meant but since I was already on an adventure I'd go all in. I've since learned it wasn't a proper Chicago dog, but it was glorious. The explosion of flavors in that first bite are still echoing on my taste buds," he said.
"That's what the Doctor said," Rose said, a hitch in her voice. "Almost word for word." She was fixed on that window, watching the raindrops like they were the most interesting things she had ever seen.
The Doctor said nothing for a while, joining her in silent contemplation of the raindrops. His chai went cold along with hers.
Several minutes later, he spoke again. "If you're uncomfortable, I will take you home."
"I don't want to be," she said. "I've been trying."
"I know you have. Just know you only have to say the word and it's back to London as fast as we can."
"That sounds like something he would say," she said, and the tears started again.
Instead of shouting at her, instead of grabbing her shoulders and giving her a shake and forcing her to look into his eyes and know he was the same, like he so desperately wanted to, he handed her a napkin and waited. When the crying got worse rather than better, he came and knelt on the floor in front of her chair. The other café patrons took note, some straining to listen for words of a marriage proposal, but the Doctor ignored them.
"Rose, please look at me," he whispered. "Just look. I'm not expecting you to find anything you like in this daft new face, but if you'll just try to see. I'm here. I haven't left you at all." He reached for her hand and took it this time, putting his other hand over the top of hers.
At last, just when he thought she wasn't going to, she looked into his eyes. She was chewing on her bottom lip as she searched through her tears, and the Doctor never moved.
You know me, Rose Tyler. I'm right here.
"Your eyes are brown now," she said. "Like mine."
He smiled a little. "That might have been admiration. You know what they say, about imitation and flattery and all that."
There was a flicker of a smile in return. He never had to tell her regeneration was as random as a lottery if it made her more comfortable to think otherwise.
"You've got freckles," she said.
"Have I?" he asked with a quirk of his eyebrows. He didn't have to tell her he'd spent quite some time scrutinizing the new face in mirrors at every angle until he knew it as well as his old one. "You know, once I had a really huge nose."
She smiled a little more. "You mean bigger than the last time?"
"Oh, if you thought that nose was big," he said, squeezing her hands, "should have seen the one from a couple decades ago. Could have parked a lorry in there."
She laughed, and he saw some of the tension leave her face at last. He was king of all he surveyed. He looked out the window at the rain as he spoke.
"You were wearing a fuzzy blue jumper with a zippered collar, and those jeans that you say are too long but you like them anyway because they are as comfy as pyjamas. Oh - and your white trainers with the broken lace. You spilled some chai on your right shoe and were worried the blue would stain, but I zapped it with the sonic screwdriver and tried to explain how I'd resonated the frequency of the chai on a molecular level but you told me to shut my mouth and accept your thanks and move on."
The hesitant smile blossomed into fullness. "I'm sorry," she sniffed, wiping her eyes with the napkin he'd given her. "It's just hard. I promise you won't have to keep reminding me."
"I'll tell you over and over again until you're certain," he said as he got to his feet. "Now eat your cakes and drink your chai and tell me again all about you and your mate Shireen and the time you slept over at her place and broke into her mum's liquor cabinet and drank all that Chambord until you threw it up and stained her bathroom rug."
"You remember everything," she said. She unwrapped a cake and handed it to him. He popped the whole thing into his mouth and smiled at her around the frosting.
I could remember everything, if I wanted to. But I horde memories of you like stolen gold. Outwardly, he gave a diffident shrug. "Comes with the territory when you're clever."
They passed the rest of their tea in companionable silence. She'd held his hand on the walk back to the TARDIS.
*******
The café was Norwegian this time, and the chai was beige. It was raining, as it should be, but this time the Doctor knew no tricks would convince her he was the same man. This time she looked right at him, knowing him and not knowing him at all. This time he felt the heartbreak of their estrangement with his single human heart, and he was helpless to overcome it.
"I'm sorry," he said. It was the first words he'd spoken since telling her he loved her.
"What for?" she asked, unwrapping a pale yellow cake and handing it to him.
"I'm sorry he left you," he said into his chai. So sorry you're stuck with me.
Rose reached across the table for his hand but stopped short of taking it. "You remember the café on Veisxie?"
"Which time?" it was his turn to avoid her gaze.
She leaned her head forward until she found his eyes. "You were wearing a soft gray t-shirt and your old leather jacket, your blue trousers and black trainers. It was early days after your regeneration, and I was so scared that you weren't you anymore. That was the day you convinced me that you would always be you, and you'd always be with me. I started to fall in love with you that day, you know."
He raised his head, smiling. "You did?"
"It had a lot to do with your freckles," she said, taking his hand.
"I still have those," he said.
She smiled back. "All in just the right place. I see you, Doctor. No matter what face, or body, or whatever changes. I love you, and I'll tell you over and over again until you're certain."
"Tell me again," he said.
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Date: 2011-09-09 11:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-10 05:41 am (UTC)