Writer's Block: B.Y.O.B. Holidays

[timelord1]

We celebrate Christmas...well, Christmas gets celebrated around me mostly. MOSTLY. (read on)

I'll admit it. I'm a grinch. I start snarking about Christmas in August, as soon as the decorations get put out for sale. But, with reason. I'm one of those people for whom the holidays are hard and nasty reminders of people that are gone, and for whatever reason I just can't get over that. Mostly Christmas makes me sad and sort of owly.

EXCEPT...for Midnight Mass at the Episcopal Church in Belvidere, which is a nearby town. My family has gone to that church probably since it was built. My grammy played the piano there and my grandfather sang in the choir. My parents were married there (and buried through there), and Mr. Timelord and I were married there, too. When I stand among the people at Midnight Mass and sing (I'm a former cantor there, and when I actually go to services, they usually have me sing something solo), I feel so close to the people I've lost that, for a couple of minutes, I sort of enjoy the holiday. :) Plus, the music is outstanding. We sing all sorts of carols, and when we sing "The First Noel," I kick into Opera Voice Mode and sing this descant that rings out over the rest of the congregation and always earns me a few grinning, backward glances. Best. Thing. Ever.

After Midnight Mass, Mr. Timelord and I go home and exchange our presents to each other. He proposed in 2004 during one of these exchanges, so that is always a good memory and a nice time. Then we go to one aunt's house for Christmas, and pop into another aunt's house to say Happy Hanukkah, because we have a little of everything in our family. 

I guess mostly I'm cynical about the commercial aspect. Maybe I'm wrong when I say I'm a grinch. Maybe I'm more of a Charlie Brown at Christmas. :) [Error: unknown template qotd]

Comments

[wander-realtai.livejournal.com]

Yes, the holidays do sometimes have that bittersweet tang to them for me as well, when some people that I really wish were here, aren't. It's good that you've found a way to feel close to them. I'd love to hear you sing! I'd imagine the Christmas program is beautiful at the church. And I definitely agree about the commercial aspect rubbing you wrong-- I hate that it's become so much about pouring money into big businesses, rather than giving of yourself to loved ones.